Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
