Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
