Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
