I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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