I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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