dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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