You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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