He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
