Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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