he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
