Whod you bang
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
