i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just cropdusted the office
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
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Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
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I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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