Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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