yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
