i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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