at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
