Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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