Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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