Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
