i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
