i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize