Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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