I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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