Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
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