I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
