she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Don't EVER smell your tampon
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
