I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think my vagina is haunted
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
