but the lizard people decide everything anyway
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
