dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
