You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Can vaginas get frostbite?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
