We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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