Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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