4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
handjob tips. give me some.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
