i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
apparently the secret to your success is patron
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
