thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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