I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize