oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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