Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
even my farts smell like vagina
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize