Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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