i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize