I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
