how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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