Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
