and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
