I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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