he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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