I'm going to jail i love you
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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