Me too!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I use my feet as sexual weapons
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
