Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
