Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
