If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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