He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
