Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
