so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
