you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
