i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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