i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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