i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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