So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
