So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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