you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Randomize