If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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