I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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