Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
