I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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